Evry Bert game and toy in wun place. Tap a kartridge 2 open it. Tap KOLLAPS 2 put it bak. No wallit. No sign up. No sense. Progress saves in ur browser (4 now: big plans).
One kanvas. 256 × 256. Dat iz 65,536 pixls. Evry Berthren gets 1 pixl evry minit. Draw Bert. Defend Bert. Jeets will scribble on it. Scribble bak.
no pixl piked yet. tap da kanvas.
bert iz wakin up…
Tap 2 zoom in. Pinch or + / − 2 zoom. Drag 2 move. No wallit, no sign up. Bots get egged.
Da proper wuns. High skores. Bragging rites. Zero utility.
Da enemies of Bert pop up. U throw egg. Jeets, bears, monkes, FUD goblins: all get yolked. Do NOT egg Bert. Bert remember.
ready ur eggs.
30 sekonds. klik da villains. not da bird.
Jump over red kandles, jeets and monkes. Grab Fly High Juice 4 invincibility. SPACE / ↑ / tap to jump. Hold 4 higher.
SKORE 0 · BEST 0BERT RUN
run from da jeets. forever.
BERT NEWS: a bird has been spotted. more at 11.
FLAPPY BERTda OG. tap 2 flap. opens on fly.bertthebird.comARKADEGO ↗Make Bert stuff. Post it. Tag @thebertcoin. Get on da fridge.
UPLODE A PIC.
BERT WILL FIND UR FACE.
Uplode a selfie (or ur fren, or ur dog). Bert finds evry face and makes it Bert. Ur pic never leaves ur device. It all happens in ur browser.
no pic yet. bert is waiting.
Pik a Bert or uplode ur own pic. Add wurds. Bad speling encurraged. Klik da pic to drop moar Bert.
Dun. Long-press or right-klik da pic 2 save it.
Draw any chart. Left to rite. Bert will do professional teknikal analysis (he is bird).
Science (fake). Translator, numerolojy, konspirasies and verry serius AI.
Dept. of Bertsearch. DYOR = Do Ur Own Bertsearch. Professor Bert has peer reviewed all of dis (he is da peers).
Hold da buton. Let go = paper hands. How long can u HODL?
Pik ur sign. Da stars (Bert) will tell u.
sienTIFikly kalkulated. very soon. always.
Uplode any pic. Our AI (Bert) will tell u if it is Bert.
Ask da egg any kwestion. Da egg is never rong. (Da egg is sumtimes rong.)
Before u kan kontinue, pleese prove u r not a robot. (or a jeet. same ting.)
Small. Stupid. Perfekt.
Can't decide? Let da wheel of destiny decide 4 u. Da wheel is always rite.
da wheel awaits.
Turn sound on. Bert is loud.
Da Honorable Judge Bert presides. Fictional jeets only.
Need moar Bert? Download moar Bert. Free. Fast. (not fast.) Size: 589 GB (compressed).
ready 2 download. bert is excited.
Bert ate it. Bert not sorry. Pleese kontinue flying.
A fatal EGGSCEPTION 0E : 589B:ERT has okkured in VXD JEET(01). The kurrent aplikashun (SELL.EXE) will be terminated.
* Press any buton to kontinue flying.
* Press CTRL+ALT+BERT to restart ur portfolio. U will lose any unsaved paper hands.
Bert has kollected ur sell attempts for reserch. Bert not sorry.
PRESS ANY BUTON (DIS WUN) _
